Courageous Conversations

"Do you think you should be doing that?"

What a great client event last night. The launch went off without a hitch, the drinks were flowing freely, and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. Except that you saw two of your colleagues, tucked away in the corner, in physical contact that may not have been the most appropriate time and/or place. You decide to talk to your friend/colleague about this behavior. (12:25)

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Lessons Learned:

• Be specific about the consequences - "...something bad might happen" is what caught Chris' attention.
• Support the policy - Pat's not sure it is a problem, but worried that it could be.
• Focus on the impact - Chris' intentions are not what is at issue - it's the behavior and the impact.
• Be a friend - Pat raised the issue because Chris is a friend and cares about what happens to her.

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CEO to Executive - "I know what he is going to say"

Download StartStopKeep.pdf (62.1K)

Today is the conversation between the CEO and his direct report. 

Over the last couple of weeks, in preparation, I spoke to each person individually (twice). Objective of those conversations was to help each of them prepare his feedback to be behavioral, appropriate, and tangible. 

Each completed a chart of at least one thing he would like the other to Start Doing, to Stop Doing, and to Keep Doing.

Our agenda today will be:

• Meeting Expectations - what would success look like
• Facilitator’s Role - my role is non-partisan, helping them learn to negotiate
• Review Start, Stop, Keep behaviors - review the lists
• Determine Action Steps - decide which things can be done, what are deal-breakers, etc.

Talk to you soon, Tim.

CEO to Executive - "I know what he is going to say"

Surprisingly (or not) even at the upper most reaches of organizations executives struggle to give honest, direct feedback on performance, on expectations, on the reality of the current situation.

Based on a fear of losing a good, solid, valued employee, or just because the leader would rather avoid some "confrontation", the answer to "How am I doing?" becomes an unhelpful and unspecific, "Good." Along with more money.

Sexual Harassment Interventions

Awareness and Prevention

Download TMGSexualHarassment.pdf (92.5K)

Nobody wants to go to sexual harassment prevention training.  And everybody will make fun of it going into the session.

But, our sexual harassment workshops, with its audio podcasts, are an effective, easy, fun, approachable method for clearly communicating the company's expectations regarding appropriate workplace behavior. The workshops reinforce organizational values and promote an environment free of unwanted behaviors.

California, Connecticut and Maine all require supervisors to receive two hours of sexual harassment prevention training every two years. Each require specific course content that must be included. In addition to the training being effective and approachable, our Sexual Harassment Prevention training is utilized in these states and is compliant with their requirements.

Our TMG's Sexual Harassment Prevention training helps supervisors and managers understand what a complaint of harassment looks like; how and when a supervisor should talk to Human Resources; and provides specific strategies for recognizing, responding to and resolving complaints of sexual harassment and unlawful discrimination.

Some verbatim reactions to our Harassment Prevention training: Download HarassmentTrgResults.pdf (282.4K)

Name:
Email Address:
I am interested in...	Executive Intervention Harassment Prevention

This online form was provided by Freedback.

Turns out you can't just be a jerk to everyone

The Second Circuit Court of Appeals recently concluded that a hostile work environment may exist for a female employee when the alleged harasser makes gender-specific slurs and comments, even where the harasser is an “equal opportunity harasser” who makes offensive comments to “everyone, regardless of gender.”

The case, Kaytor v. Electric Boat Corp, the plaintiff alleged that her manager made inappropriate remarks to her including references to her body and how she smelled. In addition, though he didn’t touch her in a sexual or violent way, on nearly a dozen occasions, the manager threatened to hurt, choke or kill her.

The lower court granted the employer's motion for summary judgment on plaintiff's claims concluding the conduct at issue was not sufficiently severe and pervasive to constitute a sexually hostile work environment. The lower court also concluded that because the manager in question was boorish to everyone, regardless of gender, he was not targeting plaintiff because of her sex.

The Second Circuit reversed the lower court’s grant of summary judgment concluding that a reasonable juror could conclude that the manager “had designs on” the employee and was angry that she would not fall for his advances and could infer from his overtly sexual comments that the gender-neutral threats were directed at plaintiff because of her sex. The Second Circuit also addressed the “equal opportunity harasser” argument, referencing an earlier case in which it held that “the inquiry into whether ill treatment was actually sex-based discrimination cannot be short-circuited by the mere fact that both men and women are involved. ... It would be exceedingly perverse if a male [supervisor] could buy ... his company immunity from Title VII liability by taking care to harass sexually an occasional male worker, though his preferred targets were female.” So turns out that being a "jerk" to everyone will not protect an employee or his/her employer from liability.

Thanks to John Bagyi, Esq., SPHR, Deputy Managing Attorney, Bond, Schoeneck & King, PLLC, for the basis of this synopsis.

An Executive That Could Have Been Saved

A firestorm of press has exploded around the firing of Hewlett Packard's CEO, Mark Hurd, over accusations of sexual harassment and ethical misconduct.

Now, I am not going to take issue with the Board's decision to fire him, that is well within their purview. And a "zero-tolerance" policy, especially at the top, can be a valuable signal for the rest of the organization. (Versus one set of rules for executives and one for everybody else).

At the same time, this is exactly the kind of situation where he might have been worth the effort to save, because alot of money is going to get spent to replace him (estimates of 30-100% of his annual salary).

What makes this situation "saveable"?

First, he was performing. During his tenure,

• HP became the top seller of personal computers and printers
• Sales of one-hundred fifteen billion
• And HP's stock price had doubled.

Second, the situation appears to be relatively "mild." Not to condone any accusation of sexual harassment, but it does not appear to be a case of either "severe" or "pervasive." Even his accuser was "surprised" to hear he lost his job.

So to "save" him means to find out what was really going on - probably completely unrelated to the presenting issues - that this inappropriate behavior became the outlet.

As I have seen time and time again, rather than dealing directly with the real issue and the discomfort, uncertainty, anger, whatever, of the issue the feelings gets channeled into inappropriate behavior.

So, after the investigation, instead of firing Mark Hurd and spending anywhere from 30-100% of his annual salary to replace him, plus the 10% drop in the stock price, the board could have engaged a professional to "save" the CEO for a fraction of the cost to their bottom line.

What does it means to "save" an executive?

"Saving" an executive or leader means creating a change in behavior in someone that has been written off, left for dead, or probably just tolerated.

But once the breaking point has been reached, e.g., harassment charge, all traditional methods of intervention are off the table.

To intervene at this point means doing the one thing nobody inside the organization has the patience, tolerance, or stomach for - listening to his/her "side" of the story.

As I have said many times before, listening to somebody is hard work. It's an interactive activity. It means setting aside all judgment. It means not trying to "convince" anybody of anything. It means working with what you got.

But the ability to do this listening and ask questions that are about understanding, not traps, is where the answer lies in bringing this leader back into the good graces of his/her colleagues, HR, Legal and the rest of the organization.

"Let's create our own"

Jane wants to help the department to communicate better with the rest of the organization. Her manager, Joel, is not really sure how it would work or even why they would do it. Jane approaches Joel in his office to see about making some short informational videos and setting up a blog to share with the rest of the organization. (15:45)

• Start positive - Here's how this will help
• Be willing to restart - Let's try again
• Be curious about the other's point of view - Tell me more about your reaction
• Ask questions - Where did I go wrong in this conversation?

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"Can the content of our work be harassment?"

Is a question that came up during a recent series of sexual harassment trainings - twice. A professional services firm and a creative services concern both had the same issue and question.

So, what do you do if the work itself causes employees to feel uncomfortable or might create a hostile environment?

...'cause you may have a small fit"

Jake is the project's leader. He need to let Randy, his boss know that the budget and the deadline will slip. Randy is not known for being open to this kind of news. Jake’s challenge will be to make sure he does know, does understand the situation and especially what help Jake needs to get back on time and budget. (13:06)

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Lessons Learned:

• Setup a meeting - Find a time - asap - that works for the two of you.

• Have alternatives - Walk into the meeting with 2-3 things Randy could do.

• Stay on task - Can easily degenerate into blame rather than fixing the issue.

• Take responsibility - Jake is the team lead. It is his job to stay on budget and time.

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